Music and Art

What's this for?

Over the years I've written some things that have never seen the light of day (or been deemed sharable with other humans). That's what this page is for. Some of the stories are true, some are fiction. I'm not telling which is which. My other ruminations and rants will still be found at the Thoughts page and the PanFuture blog.

When We Go

There was a time, a brief window, in the late 20th century, when technological and social progress were moving roughly in the same direction. Not at the same pace, but near enough. It didn’t all come crashing down in one moment, though. No, slowly, bit by bit, drip by drip, we let little pieces fall away. We worried about things that didn’t matter and didn’t allow ourselves to see what really did. We let schemers lie to us for their benefit. There must be something about the human condition that lets those afraid of change, afraid of the ‘other’ muster the will to win. We gave ourselves away until only a bare few had anything more than animalistic survival to look forward to.

There was no post-apocalypse, no sudden, jarring death of civilization. Just a quiet, endless wearing away until the machine got so broken it couldn’t be fixed. Call it post-civilization if you like. Most of the world just muddles on, violent, or frightened, or both, living off the corpse of society.

But now none of that matters. In a few hours it will all be over. We could have gotten ourselves, or at least some of us, out of this. We could have at least done something to let the universe know we were here, for a little while. I suppose the handful of space probes racing into the void will have to do.

When we go what will be left behind? Nothing. It could have been so much more.
We could have been so much more. All we can do now is sit on this cemetery hill and wait.

Dialogue #1

(written 4-11-1996)

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"That’s a stupid question, of course I am."

"Well, yeah, that’s a given, but you can’t drink coffee on a day like today. It’s just not done."

"Stick me with a fork I think I’m done. What difference does it make anyway. I happen to like coffee."

"But this isn’t just any day, you know that. You should do something different for once."

"Now why would I do that? I know it’s a special day. I think that’s the best reason for enjoying my favorite heated beverage."

"Ok, fine, have it your way. Sometimes you’re the most obstinate son of a bitch I know."

"I’m the only son of a bitch you know. Besides, you wouldn’t have it any other way."

"You’re right. Well, I gotta go. I’ll se you tomorrow."

"No you won’t. You know that."

"Yeah, I know."
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